Monday, September 08, 2003

Over the long, calm, restful summer I completely forgot this essential truth: I never get any sleep on Sunday nights during the school year, no matter how early I go to bed. And so, last night, I lay in bed, tossing and turning, waking up every hour or so in morbid dread that I had slept through the alarm (or possibly the whole day). By the time 5:45 am arrived, it was almost a relief to get out of bed for real, no more false alarms, groggy as I might have been.

The train was full of teachers on their way to their first days. You can always tell who the teachers are, especially after the train reaches the Bronx. Teachers are the ones balancing a cup of coffee, rolled up chart paper, a giant Staples bag, and a pocketbook or briefcase fairly bursting at the seams with papers. And somehow they still have a hand - or at least a pinky finger - left to grab the bar in the center of the subway car. Things that I have brought on the subway for educational purposes: one dead lobster (on ice), multiple bags of dirt and rocks, four live goldfish, a dozen crickets jousting in a terrarium, and a partridge in a pear tree. Okay, not the partridge.

One of the first lessons I learned as a new teacher was the importance of being arbitrary.

Old Ms. Frizzle: "Should you write your name on the left or right side of the page? Um, it doesn't matter, either way is fine." The result: no name at all on the page. Constant battles over the heading.

New Ms. Frizzle: "This is your heading. You need to copy it exactly. If you don't have your heading on your homework, I won't give you credit." The result: a zero or two, then perfect, consistent headings all year. No more time spent on the issue.

I try to be arbitrary in ways that do make a difference. For example, today I wanted the students to label their folders with their full name, homeroom, and Science, all in the upper-right corner. This is useful because then I can just flip through the pile of folders and see each student's name when I am handing them out or looking for something. But oh my gosh did I forget how long it can take to get 30 eleven-year-olds to label folders correctly! My colleague walked by and heard, "Everyone point to the upper-right-hand corner of your folder. Good. Now write your full name - that's first AND last - in the upper-right-hand corner...." Fifteen minutes later, the folders were labeled. Whew! I'm exhausted!

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